Fschooliascoff.com

Some time ago, its hard to think when it all really started I became very stressed and all of a sudden got the feeling that I wasn’t truely really here. I have basically had this feeling ever since, but because it has been so long, I tend to forget about it, but then sometimes I realise that I’ve still got it, which frightens me.

It is very hard to explain, but I feel as though I am detached from people, as though I am living in my head. It is as though I have a veil in front of my eyes that separates me from people. My vision is not affected, but sometimes things feel very dreamy.

I have to really concentrate on things happening before me. It almost feels as though my brain is separate from my body.

Most friends would say I was normal, just like everyone else but in reality I hide myself behind that person so that people don’t see the real me and althou I want people to see and accept me I don’t want to be rejected either.

So when it all gets difficult, and I am ignored I disappear into the dream like world where I can control whats going on while continuing this life… Its like living two simultanious lives at once. I can’t say I’m unhappy in life, just wanting more from it.

Whats been happening in life, well it seems not much at first glance and the same answer I give to people asking “What have you been up too”. I work, I play, dance and enjoy. But in reality, quite a lot.

I’ve been focusing more on what I can do. How I can expand my knowledge and abilities. In dancing, I’m learning to salsa weekly now aswell as following learning things online using videos and stuff. Video is useful as can rewind and replay, but class is great as can be shown close up what and if I go wrong. All is fun.

On the computer, I am learning Adobe products & doing courses using distance learning. I’ve always wanted to learn photoshop & Flash and now I am slowly. The course will take something like 9 months but found other resources like adobe tv and seminars that adobe do on tuesdays and thursdays.

In other news I’ve had a meeting with business link on how i can adapt to take over the family business and how I can run it all from business management & staffing to finances and marketting.

Aswell as business link, i’ve met with people from the North East Chamber of Commerce (NECC) on how to get funding, do networking & training. Its a lot to take in but I’m getting more excited and interested the more I hear.

At trampolining I’ve started on sumasaults, I can get around and onto my feet in the rig but otherwise I kinda go splatt but its a start. I am also getting the chance to help others in trampolining – my assistant coaching qualification coming to use. Its amazing when people learn something you’ve taught them. Its better than payment in reality.

Links used in this post:

• Business Link North Ease
• North East Chamber of Commerce
• Adobe recorded seminars
• Adobe TV
• Adobe