Last week or so on the train, the journey started very quiet… I tried getting people to talk and nothing happened… so vanished into a book… about “Networking – and how to communicate”

“Sev” (guy next to me) asked me about what I was reading after about half an hour and we started to talk… then “Unity” (girl opposite me) joined in too… and sometime later “Graham” joined in too… we all chatted about all sorts, and I was talking that I wanted to know how to communicate better with others

“Graham” was a consultant about managers and businesses, we all talked. “Sev” was a medical student from Toronto, learning in Newcastle for a year, and “Unity” a landscape artist – we all sort of talked… “Unity” left at peterbrough and another girl “Katy” got on… We continued talking the rest of the journey that was delayed… set off around 6:45pm – got to darlington nearer 10:20pm (was meant to be in 9:30)

so a lot of talking… strangely there was no swap of any details, just a nice talk and enjoyable… it was like all the stuff I’d been reading all week, and heard in church came together as a practical way of doing what I wanted but without the pressure of it all… so yeah, I do believe that God puts us in the right places at the right times.

Names are often not related to real people, or maybe they are…

I’ve been going to some “Networking meetings” which I’m learning is not to actually sell your product or service but more to get to know people and possably help others more than yourself but its all new to me which is kind of exciting while at the same time scary but I’m learning and feel my confidence is getting better and in turn think that I mix better with people.

I’m discovering through the meetings that there is a lot more opertunities to meet with people althou I’ve not quite got the rhythem of how to get my business across. It is quite enlightening to watch and listen to how others are mixing, and working with others. Simple things seem to make the most impact – shame I’ve not worked out how to actually convert my words to that way yet… but i’ll get there.

Recently its been more on the side of trying to make a business work, and it takes a lot to know whats happening and what is to be done. I’m enjoying it but not so much the constant paper works – even when its not on paper.

Recently went to a friends for a curry night, a time with friends and new friends to eat together and do a quiz. Our team won the quiz – somehow, I’m not sure why but we all got some prizes… there was I can recall a puzzle, a book, some humbug sweets and a back scratcher – there was something more I think but don’t recall what it was. I know it was enjoyable and do thank those that organised it. You know who you are

I’ve been reading a book named Brilliant Networking – to look at it from the outside, I’d have probably dismissed it – It is a bright flouresent orange with text on it – Not nice for the eyes however this is the worst part.

I’m starting to understand that networking not as in IT but in relationship with people is a lot bigger than first thought. I thought it was about basically trying to sell your business to others, and partially that is still true but its a very small part of the whole idea.

Its more a “help one another get the help needed” and build friendships, and through the friendships a way to talk openly on what your wanting, and what you can do. Sometimes its not what you can do directly but maybe introduce someone else to one another. An example, in the book was a dating site where the matchmaker gets the info from two people and then introduces them to one another and stepping back.

In my sense of it all, it is not necessarily something that you get from it, but people usually do remember those that helped them and refer others to them… another saying “Give lots, Get lots” but sometimes nothing comes from it.

Many ideas which I think I should have realised such as replying in forums, or newsletters or making better use of my blog and twitter. All things I knew, yet have let pass me by before now.

Anyhow, I’m working through the book and enjoying it. Took it to my trip to london, its been suprising how easy it is to find time to read, especially in tranport areas – waiting for things or travelling on them – sitting or standing back and reading. I thought it would be difficult to read with all the moving but seems easy enough and really does pass the time.

I went to message 2000, Just as my other friends have and saw so much. I expected a few meetings together, talk to a few people and have fun. I was wrong and was told I was going to “Evangelise” – Well thatscared me, I thought “Me? Why me?, someone else can do that, anyways I can’t do that”

Have you ever really thought about it “Can I evangelise>” Let me put it another way… “Can I help? and tell someone about God?” In basic terms:

• God loves you and Cares
• God wants you to be free

Jesus came to earth, from heaven, grew up and worked, then for 3 to 3.5 years he set out on foot, and spoke to thousands of people about God his Father.

During this time he did miricles and healed many people. To top off everything, He set us free from Sin. Sin is the wrong stuff we do… From pinching something to hurting each other. Jesus died on a cross and othe the third day He rose from the dead and appeared to many people.

He then rose into the sky, and the Holy Spirit was sent to be with us and Jesus gave the commandment to tell everyone that they can be saved and all they need to do is believe.

Believe that Jesus died for their sins and invite Jesus to live within them.

The message is still the same after 2000+ years.

Well I realised all the gospel was, is Jesus’ Life and I knew about that, how else was I a Christian if I hadn’t heard the gospel before.

Anyway, at message 2000 which was based in Manchester, we were split into teams, all about 10 Thousand and send out to work on projects in and around manchester.

Talking with others

Myself, and another from our church group were on a Childrens Project which was basically playing games and listening to them. We also went out and spoke to people on the streets. It was actually fun which I seemed strange but cool. Some ignored us but most people were interested. I was suprised.

We went out in pairs to talk to people about God, the first day I went I was really nervous. I’d seen others seem to do it and really didn’t like the idea that I was to talk but wanted to have a go anyhow. It didn’t quite go to plan, my partner lead the initial speech and passed to me… I had words but no voice came out – I totally froze – my partner took over and the chat continued.

The next day, we went out again – I was determined to try and get past it and yet again, my partner started the talk and them passed over to me, this time it was different – words came out and the other person didn’t just shoot me down – it was a conversation and it was good… I continued the rest of the day fine.. a lot easier than I first thought.

The night events were great: An Arena full of youth about 12 to 14 thousand people all praising and learning more about God together.

I now feel I have a heard to see God work in Childrens lives after working with them. Friends from church has said they’ve seen a change in me, which is for a posative.

Harvest 2000

One night at harvest was particularly awesome
- a night of true passion.

We were on the last night, praising in the large tent like most other nights of harvest – singing worship to God where everything seemed to change.

Worship was everything, I could feel the presence of God in the large tent. We started at 7pm, and the event was still going at 11pm and felt a peace that was amazing. You had to praise – nothing else felt right or approproate.

I can not expl;ain what happened & don’t think I want too… but was pleased that I was a part of it. The band “Soul Survivor” could not lead but the crowd leaded about 7 to 9 hundred young people, mainly teens.

Can you imagine it?

It was a good God Filled summer, now to continue with life and hopefully not loose that passion that feels like a fire bubbling trying to get out.

• Harvest Event
• The Message

Well, thats not really happened in life. I’ve got the Job part down, but thats been there for around 8 years now and no other to call wife, or partner even so no chance of family.

I look back and have found that I’ve not had an ambition more than to one day run my own business – This year that started. Then, when I thought of this, I didn’t know what I wanted to do a business in – just to run one and hopefully help people in a way that could help me keep doing it.

I found my old “Year book for 1995 school leavers” and read through it. I found my entry for “Fantastic Fact” – I put down I was a Christian, and still when I look back I wonder how I was so bold to put it down. Initially when I put it down I was told I couldn’t have that as its embarassing and the people that took them to be made up scribbled it out. I got around it as was helping to type them up into the computer and added and saved it then. I’m still pleased that I chose too – it felt right then and still 15+ years on it still feels right as it is a part of whom I am.

In life, I seemed to take an approach of What can I do well, I’ll keep doing that. In Education, I could use a computer well at school whereas most other subjects I didn’t do well at so I went into computers – how to build, how to make programs for them, and fix issues people had in them. I’ve always just stuck to it. Finished school, did a BTEC in IT at college, and a degree in IT at Uni and now work in it… but I’m not sure its what I always want to do.

I’ve spoken to a lot of people recently and discovered that many of them, have followed much the same plan as me but in different subjects. Now they work in something totally unrelated but love the work they do. It got me thinking – why have I limited myself to one job category when I could work anywhere.

I can recall a time where I wanted to “Save the environment” or “save animals” with projects working with GreenPeace or RSPCA… Nowadays its more, send a little of my money to them or promoting recycling through work and home. I don’t seem to have the same passion that helped me along before and I am in search to refind it.

I do enjoy work most of the time, but think there is change due… be that in my business taking off and allowing me to work just the one job or moving somewhere else and starting afresh. There are lots of things I could apply my knowledge too that I have from my educations and the friendships I’ve made over the time.

I am starting to realise through work that “no” doesn’t always mean “No” but often means “I don’t understand what your asking, can you ask me another way?” – This I think is to do with the networking things I’ve been researching to do with my business.

When I was a lot younger (in school) I was told I had an active imagination – this helped me through a lot of things, be it problem solving by seeing the multiple posabilities or just dreaming into another place to get through time. I use my imagination a lot now, and can often have lucid dreaming which can allow you to do whatever your imagination allows you too.

I am seeing that I have many opertunities in life now, since my trip away to london. Strange that it took me being somewhere totally different to see that where I am I can do so much. I’ve been afraid to try some things, a lack of confidence of “what if” rejections but if I never try it then I am just rejecting myself automatically so I will try and see how it goes – Only better can it be, as if not done I was rejected anyhow.

I headed over to the Museum of Science, I liked it but think I enjoyed the History one yesterday more. It was busy, but that is expected on a weekend and in school holiday, but wasn’t so busy that you couldn’t see anything.

I liked looking through the past of computers and time, one item that was a slanted ball and table to count seconds caught my eye – it was said to be quite unreliable but still I liked it.

After the museum, I wandered around for a while and looked for something to eat. I was tempted to try sushi as never done before but couldn’t find anywhere that did a sample seleciton at a price I would pay… I looked for under £15 and the only places that had anything on offer close were empty while other restaurants were full – I didn’t see it as a good sign so ate somewhere else.

Eating alone isn’t much fun if out and about, althou did give me more time to read between service. I noticed while alone, that people serving give off a feeling of disaproval… maybe its always there but I’m destracted from other people to notice it or as being alone, I was just more observent – either way it didn’t feel right

On the way back, a guy decided that the busy underground train was a good place to try some busking, and he had a large portable speaker and microphone of which he sang several songs very badly, and his actions – well… The less said the better to be honest. But he made myself and several laugh – probably not the intended reaction but it was a reaction.

I wasn’t out late on saturday night, back in by 10pm which around London is still quite early. I plan to be at church in the morning – assuming I can find it, then its getting ready to head back up north to Teesside again.

Its been a good break from the norm, don’t know if I could live in the City and Work, but overall its a nice place in my opinion… then again everything unless stated here is my opinion… just to make that seen.

Anyhow bed time now, its 2:49am and really I should be asleep by now but instead almost going to sleep on laptop.

How anyone can predict something took millions of years as a fact of reasoning when I can’t see how the process to measure that is, then I don’t know – I find it strange when people say that the earth is millions of years old… Strangely enough, in another part of the museum it stated that the sun, and planets only came into existance less than 10,000 years ago – so which is it? It can’t be both can it – I say neither is correct and i’d say were probably never going to be able to know.

Anyhow, History museum, Nice place – very busy. History and predictions of the future. I learned of Volcano’s; I’d known about it, but little things stuck out that I was unaware of. Makes me want to watch more of discovery channel by the emenses of information about the nature around us.

To see… Bugs, birds, dinasaurs, use of energy, fossil fuels, future plans of life, sea life, lots of people, and many more that I saw but probably didn’t quite see totally. I’d say go if your in London, nice to see so much and it was free too.

Met with another friend after they finished work, We both managed to get to station at same ish time even though we were to meet 20 minutes later. She spotted me, I only realised when she was closer… We went to Nandos – very nice chicken wrap for me – quite filling.

Afterwards more wandering, and chatting – My feet/legs are saw from walking but feel fine at the same time. I think this trip is started to help me realise some more fitness is needed but its nice to wander and explore.

Headed back near 10pm, I was back at flat by 25past, managed to get to stations just as transport arrived. Traffic doesn’t stay stopped for long in London but if you miss the currect connection there is usually another in a few minutes time.

I do think the transport system is quite amazing in London – their website for directions is great giving you estimated times and links between walking, trains, subway, and buses and offers alternative routes. The whole idea of it, its so complex yet simple to use. I really like it – the design and initial setup must have taken ages but now, very easy to use in my opinion and the “Oyster Cards” that allow transport so easily without cash and tickets mixed up.

I plan to go to the science museum Saturday, and explore a little more and just relax. The plan of relax, take some time out and read a bit aswell as visit the city has devloped into more and I like that. I’ve often planned stuff in the past but when its put to action nothing is quite right. This time, with little to no planning things are running quite excellent.

Arrived mid mad rush at 6pm Wednesday – the underground reminded me of school buses where its all cram in as much as possable, even thou another is coming in around 7 mins. A good journey down on the train and doing so much walking wandering.

Chinese from china town, quite late on. Seemed late, but probably really wasn’t 9pm ish I think. It seemed in a rush, everything to eat up quickly – it didn’t work.. we just took out time and chatted while eating slowly through the mountains of food produced to us.

I got shown around westminister twice, once with dad but a lot was closed so next day went and saw more. There is so many statues and books in places, and formalities – it was a lot more interesting than I thought it would be and everything so huge…. High ceilings with great shapes and designs and records of who did what or why. It felt a lot like being in a movie with everything large around you in a formal pre now layout with loads of books and statues.

Thursday was exploration day, after westminister I wandered – got the underground to a central point and then wandered through the streets – lots of shops, pubs, chill out places and most of all lots of people almost everywhere… but gorgeous weather – no idea the temperature but was warm to me.

I was meeting a friend at 5ish, ended up closer to 6ish but it didn’t matter as I was chilling out on a large grass area, looking up into the bright sun light and seeing the London Eye wheel. I don’t want to go up in it – looked quite boring, maybe its interesting – probably not.

Wandering through the streets and exploring and chatting. We went down the southbank river walk area and saw many street acts and entertainments – it was nice to see so much, we got food eventually after finding somewhere nice, and it was really nice.

So, a mid week to weekend trip to London. The plan – Meet with Dad, and see some friends aswell as just have some space away from everything and everyone to be honest. Life seems to have got so busy, now with running my own business, aswell as normal work at the medical centre and just having so much on which is nice to have the variety but means I don’t feel I stop.

I dislike the passing trains – really does seem to give me a shock when it happens – I guess I’ll get used to it soon enough. YES, I seem to be getting used to the speeding past trains – supprisingly quickly. I do love how people adjust to things so quickly (most of the time)

My ticket was around £40 from darlington to london, I checked bus althou didn’t want to go that way and it would have costs nearer £30 to £35 one way so glad I chose the train way – also managed to get First class too, think its the time of day – 15.25 to 18.05 is apparently the times. Still first class train compared with bus travel – I think it was worth the extra £5 to £10 for the peace and leg room.

Its quite peaceful in first class – maybe it is the rest of the train however I am one of the youngest here. There is free WiFi but is unsecured – wireshark may have fun here, I’ve switched off my wireless for this journey. I just don’t trust it

I think about some of the information stored about us already: every bank transaction is recorded – if you miss payments on anything its recorded, if your on or not on the electoral register, your credit cards limits and how much you have on things.

Think credit reports – many accounts that you’ve had in past or currently be it gas/electric, loans, bank accounts, credit cards, aswell as any other credit costs and wherever you’ve lived and had some sort of money related instance be it mortgage or gas/phone/elec/water etc supplies.

Already there is a lot of information accessable via the internet, and what is a little more… Much is recorded via a National Insurance Number, or NHS number, or id code. Think passports – and how they are now linkable to your drivers licence. How long until one identifier for one person – assuming it doesn’t already exist.

Many people are now getting GPS in their phones, taking pictures (with GPS info hidden inside image) and publishing online – being tracked wherever they go… or is it just helping them find where they want to be. Lets go link the GPS tracker into everything else.

Health care – I can understand that it could be useful if you were taken to hospital and needed something that your allergies & current medication could be considered easier. However, I can’t see how you can give permission to someone while in the point of an emergency and your meant to give permission to people to access your summary record (I think).

Its just another thing to be tracked to your id – Get a routine blood test to check for “lithium levels, B12, folate, HB1AC, U & E,INR,LFT, DNA, STIs, etc” and recorded down to your id.

Its not as though your health records are already recorded online somewhere, like when you change doctors and all records are moved between practices. Everything goes through a central health authority – but its not like they know where your registered, where you live, your NHS number, etc – I mean they never see the records do they? They can’t already be online can they and just coming to public knowledge?

But its just talk – that could never really happen could it?

One of the main things I seem to do, is fly – I love the freedom of being able to move up and cover vast distances with the thought of moving oneself through the air. Its strange that I usually only give the ability to myself, and not the many others around me. Many times its out of fear – trying to get away from something then realising that its a dream and knowing I can get away but what funner way of doing so than flying out of reach and zooming away or to something or someone.

I would encourage people to learn lucid dreaming, or developing the abilty to do so. Its not something I can do every night, or whenever I sleep and its something that seems to happen in cycles. For weeks I’ll be unable to even remember dreams then a week where I can control what could happen. I’ve seen many places on how I may do this whole idea of lucid dreaming and taking control but not totally sure how I learned it myself.

I seem to continue some dreams over many nights, often in a row – These are not always ones I control, but are often adventures that in the time of sleep seem to cover many weeks, to months in a night. To live a life of someone else in a week and then it changes and something else happens. But months, maybe years later it continues and I can remember all of the past and often realise its a memory from a dream and that I must be in a dream so I try changing things with thought… and things change and again I am in the controlling phase again.

Why not try it? It can be fun

Am I becoming immune of sorts – I don’t think thats good… Its maybe why in the past I’ve had bad experiences – This is the only time I’ve had more than one injection for it, because when they were eventually numb I felt nothing really and thats not what I was expecting… To think in the past, I wasn’t actually numb to it all… well, I can understand why I disliked going so much.

A comment “you don’t eat many sweet things do you?” from the dental place… I wasn’t sure if it was sarcasm or not. Eating however is quite a challenge as now all the anisthetic has kicked in, half my tougue is numb, aswell as my mouth… its one way to stop you eating too much. I was told it should ware off in around 4 to 5 hours, usually 2 but not with that amount… Nice – well actually the dentist was nice even with the drilling etc

I’ve always just accepted that you should always help people, and helped with calls and re-directing things for years as you should. My plan – Help people if you can and do what you can, and keep people updated even if it seems nothing is happening – keep people informed and usually its helpful to the person who reported it. Simple – but quite effective – to see something happening and not just nothing then a result.. Its good to see progress.

So, I will be standing in the council next time there is local elections which I think is next year some time. Planning is already in progress. At present we are working on a website for myself and all of the others in the party in this area… Its growing slowly and should have something on it in the next few months or so. I like the idea of keeping people informed as I’ve always wanted to be informed… and since community sites are all the way at the moment – we may aswell take advantage of them while we know how to use them.

I find it quite difficult to keep up with all thats going on, facebook seems a nice idea to see a glimpse of whats happening and what people are up too and gives a point, reminder to some of the stuff to further ask questions about but also maybe shares a little too much details some times.

Recently I’ve cleared my contacts list from around 450+ to around 270 ish and still thats a lot of people. I got to thinking about all those people I had on there and If I was to meet them, would I stop and chat or just maybe smile and carry on. Many of the contacts were from school times, and even then I wouldn’t have really chatted with them – or called them a friend, so why keep them on the list. Initially I had many to be nosey – to see how people have changed since then and for many I’ve re-made good connections, and still making some connections now.

Blogs and stuff. Do you have one? I know I’m writing mine now. Its a place to express what I’m thinking or going through – to try and explain a bit about where I am coming from in life and share openly and easily. Leave me a message – tell me your link.

Many friends have blogs I’m aware of, but I’ve not really read any since March this year – I just stopped. There seemed so much happening that I didn’t have time to stop and read… and now to start from where I finished will take a while but i’ll catch up again.

I had not really updated mine for several months, althou still have loads to say. Having so many words, and images in my mind about all that is happening and that I can get involved with. Its an explosive time with the masses of information being processed… its all mixed up but still I want to share – be it via chat, text, email or something else – to express myself in a way thats just me.

Recently I’ve changed my phone plan – I get unlimited texts and around 100 minutes – I don’t think I’ve ever used all my minutes up that I get free with my phone, however have previously gone over on texts – hopefully that won’t happen anymore. Landline calls – I get them all free or at least included in the plan I’m on. Skype – that allows free calls too (of sorts) – Chatting on phone – something I’ve never really gotten on well with, but maybe something to try a bit more.