I hope that you all have an Amazing New Year, and that 2012 be the start of something that just gets better and better.

Most popular post this year:

• How to replace the Hard disk in a Zoostorm Freedom 10-270 netbook

I didn’t expect people to find it useful, it was more written up because if I ever wanted to do it again, I’d have a guide for it. Plus, I’d not found anything online like it. One day I may add pictures too… now that I have got them to the computer.

I hope you all have an amazing time what ever you are up too.

I found a few new passions for life, my work life changed – more of a new mix of things to do rather than a particular job change. The change allowed me to section things really well meaning I’ve had more focus and enjoyed things more.

With no real headaches/migraines anymore my concentration levels feel like they’ve gone through the roof, I felt I’ve had more time to do things although I’ve got very good at filling all that extra time up again. Since stopping the consumption of chocolate, I have only had 3 headaches I could consider up to migraine pain and it only knocked me out for a day so it wasn’t too bad. It seems worth the trade although I really do miss chocolate.

Going quickly down my list from last year and how its turned out so far:

Play the guitar
- I managed a few cords and tried for a few weeks but didn’t really feel any passion for it to keep it up and other things took priority so I stopped.

Trampolining: Sumasaults with no help
Not managed it yet, but been learning Bounce rolls too, I’m getting the rotation just not quite the confidence or trusted coordination to actually complete the moves.

Rock Climbing – more technique
I’ve went with friends while in Leeds but not so much locally. I have learned how to climb, how to tie knots and belaying but not really done a lot with it. I tried the club locally and although they seemed friendly, it was all a bit too cleeky and I didn’t feel I could just go some weeks and not others and then other things are now happening on the same night so not so easy to go anyhow.

A new passion in work, or something in life that I don’t want to put down
Work: Well I’m still in the same main job, but have a few others now aswell that make life a lot more interesting and challenging.

New cooking styles
I’ve been making sweets this year, a mixture of things such as Banoffee mixtures, Toffee sweets, Chilli & ginger chocolate and most recently ginger creams (same basis of peppermint creams, just ginger essence instead of peppermint) as well as things like Chilli Popcorn, Spicy BBQ Shreaded Pork and Spicy Chicken

Dance
I wanted to become more fluid, confident, and relaxed in dance and expand the styles but that would involve me actually going out and doing it, that didn’t happen this year which was strange but something to look forward too for next year.

Fitness
I’ve enjoyed my trampolining this past year, rock climbing, and swimming and other exercise I’ve got up too, but the newest thing has been ice skating, I’ve always wanted to try it but not had the opertunity to really try it, I’ve tried to get lessons but could never get on the courses.

Then about 2 months ago, I saw an advert for some free lessons put on for local residents and went for it, it was a set of 5 beginner lessons over 5 weeks. I’ve had my own boots for years but only had used them once before the lessons. I’m no good at it, I now know how to start of, get up, fall with style (not part of the lessons), kinda stop and greatly increased confidence in going for it…

I went with some friends after the lessons, and didn’t feel that confident – I was afraid of falling and hurting myself badly. I didn’t relax… I was fine until the last 5 minutes of the timeslot where I went flying and just burst into laughter skidding across the ice. It hurt (still does) but it was an eye opener. Next time I went, I was less afraid of falling and relaxed. It was so much easier and a lot of fun. Its something I hope to do multiple times a month now. so… Falling was a good thing.

— End of last years list —

So, What else has been happening

New Year Start…

The New year started in London with a close friend, we went to celebrate the new year in the capital to see what it was like. We thought to head to the waterfront in plenty of time and set off for around 6pm on new years eve, seems that was not early enough. We were diverted around different streets and never quite got to the waterfront and ended up in Trafalgar square. We had a good view of the fireworks when they started although the build up was quiet but friendly. We had a good time, and a long walk home – we were not attempting London transport that night.

Spring

In April time, I went to spring harvest and spent some time out from normal life. I spent a few weeks in Northampton, I used a site called spareroom, and rented a room for a month or for the two weeks I was there. It worked out a lot cheaper than trying hotel, or even B&B accommodation and gave me a lot of freedom. I got all my washing sorted from the previous week at spring harvest and the weather was awesome. I think it was in the late 20′s to early 30′s in temperature – it was really nice to be able to laze out in a back garden and just read a book. I saw a lot of friends from the area, and caught up with some I’ve not seen in years – an awesome holiday/time out.

Summer/Autumn

During the time which we could consider is summer time I got to thinking about my future again and for the past year or so, I’ve thought about returning to university. I’ve wanted to get that degree in something just to prove to myself I can do it and really not wanted it in IT anymore. IT is something I can do but not what I want to do for the rest of my life.

It was an interesting experience applying again and wondering Will I Get in? and finding out the day before I was due to start that I got in, and I would be a student again. I am finding it hard work but very enjoyable. I found my first post on this site, and how unhappy I was in the IT university course – it feels very different this time round and I look forward to what I am learning instead of the thoughts of “I have to get through this”.

For as long as I can recall I have always wanted the rights of people to be served right and people get what they are entitled too. I’m not interested in this suing of everyone for anything. I think it’s stupid in a lot of ways but I don’t think it’s right that people are cheated out of things. I’ve been one that reads the terms of most things to see what I’m signing for or against and often enjoyed debating with others even things I totally agree with them about.

On the 30th November 2011, I was involved in Strike Action to stand for the rights of my pension. It doesn’t really affect me directly, but does many of my friends and my Union voted to strike, so I stood by them. I was asked why I striked as they reckoned everyone is loosing out, why not me…

How would you like this senario: You have an all expenses luxury holiday planned for 30th July next year, when you get there you will get the best weather for the place, you won’t have to pay anything more but it will cost you £250 each month for the next 6 months to go. You agree and start the payments. After a couple of months, the company doing the package turn round and change the terms. Now you have to pay £300 per month, and its no longer available in July – its now in October. Its no longer all expenses paid, you will have to pay for food, and those facilities that would have been included.

Would you agree to this? Pay More, For longer for less in the return and you wonder why people would want to fight for their right?

Christmas

I had friends down for Christmas this year, waking up and opening presents from one another and then visiting their families. In the afternoon we went to my parents place where my family was all together. There was around 14 of us around the table all eating and celebrating together for the afternoon. I got to meet and actually spend time with some of my cousins that I’ve only known by names before Christmas. I had a really good time and felt truelly blessed to have spent it with friends and family that care so much for me.

So, For the next year…

I would like to try a few things for the next year and hope I continue to enjoy life. I can say that I’ve felt a true sense of happyness in the last few months – I’ve got involved in a lot of things I’ve dreamed about doing and just went for it with a new focus I didn’t seem to have. I’ve discovered that I find more and more I can do in life and look forward to what is coming next.

• Trampolining: Sumasaults with no help
• More cooking styles
• Dance: become more fluid, confident, and relaxed in dance and expand the styles
• Great grades and new friends through University
• Be more involved with Harvest
• The traditional – I want to get fitter, healthier etc

So thats me done for the year, so much has happened and I can see so many posibilities for the future and although its hard work and will get more of a challenge, I am looking forward to it while working through everything I have on.

Happy New Year!

My home is now a lot tidier than it has been, all washing is done and I’ve written so many ideas down that it will keep me busy for years. Why ideas comes to you about things totally different to what you want when you don’t want them is an annoyance but I needed to write them down as otherwise I tend to forget or keep remembering and can not get back to what I need to do.

Came to the end, I had 1464 words – so glad thats done, next one due in January (or December if you want a draft handed in first) and glad to leave it for a while. I’m going to continue with the reading though, I’ve discovered how to read a lot more and write notes as I go along that have been helpful. I’m faster at reading already – good job really, 10 pages here and there really doesn’t cut it on a Law degree – you need to read faster, there is so much of it.

Good idea: Get presentation folders. I’ve not needed them in years so when I went to get some to hand in assignment, I found I didn’t have any – off to Tesco, glad they are 24 hour stores round here, it ensured I had them quickly and on time.

Time management in past is something I’ve been quite useless at. I can provide a great projection and design plan of how to move forward, planning times and dates for everything to be done but to put it in action – that doesn’t usually go quite to plan. I’m glad I made one for the assignment – I thought I had loads of time to do it but as I worked through the plan, I realised I had not. I now have references, and notes that I should write up somewhere for future projects but not done yet.

I think my time plans are starting to make sense now, I’m starting to realise how long it takes to do things and I am meeting deadlines instead of an ideal plan deadline.

This time around, I’m doing something I’ve always been interested in but never thought I’d actually be able to do. I’m going for a Part time course – a degree in Law. I didn’t get my degree last time and have always wondered if I could get one – Not particuarly for a better job, but for me to acheive it – Its something I want to do, and at the end of it (and probably during learning) I will be able to help people in a new way.

I started on Tuesday – its twice a week for the total of 5 hours plus lots of reading and study time, I’ve been re-arranging my hours for my jobs and free time over the past few months and now the education fits in well with that assuming I can keep to my plan.

The group/class seems quite good so far, I’ve only spoken with about half of them but people come from all different backgrounds – different current workplaces as well as a range of ages. Everyone so far has been friendly, and I think everyone was a little nervous for the class but jelled well. I think it will be a good class. Already we have started mini assignments in the classes, and people have worked well together directing and helping each other find things to complete the answers on the sheets.

I am at a point in life now that I am ready to really learn again, I didn’t think it would happen – that I want to sit down, have time out of the crazy life I have and learn. Being a student again is different now. Previously, it was lot about going out and learning how to mix and thats came invaluable but I’ve done that now… and yes, I will go out probably with this group but I have a stronger sense to actually sit down and work for things. Maybe its got something to do with having to organise the payment for the course as last time there was no fees for the course – maybe I didn’t value what I was getting.

I can see many opertunities ahead, and really am looking forward to even the insane amount of reading that will be needed, I may complain but will work through it.

I came out of the first set of classes expecting to be exhausted, I’d been working since about 8.30am with about 2 hours for food and breaks during the day and finished at 9pm but felt so energised – I wanted to do something then… I ended up cooking, eating and preparing veg for the next few days of food. On wednesday though.. Quite tired but with a smile

Brunch which seemed to start around 9.30am consisted of 2 bananas and 3 apples, followed by 4 slices of roast beef, and 8 slices of ham, then the rice biscuits – they were not filling but tasted nice, and then the half pack of fig rolls, and two slim fast milkshakes (I like the strawberry one). Then it was coming up to lunch which was sandwiches and a break. Dinner started with a bacon butty, then a burger and chips then ice cream.

Still feeling hungry, I’d felt I ate a lot and should stop so continued with stuff and later ate more crisps and some crunchy salad I found in the fridge yet still I feel hungry and writing about food hasn’t helped that.

But today, today has been a good and quite productive day and not just in the eating way. I seem to be getting on top of a load of things at my morning job that I’ve had issues with recently. I’m getting information back for the one on the afternoon job and actually able to do what I need to do instead of waiting on others and got to practice some of what I’d been learning with people instead of just writing – I was speaking with people too – I know it sounds simple, and in reality it is – but to get the right information from and to the person can be quite a challenge.

This evening (around the food stuff) I tried something new, I was meant to be going to the Parkmore with a friend for near 8pm but he was working and not due back til 9ish so we went later… that wasn’t new… what was new was attempting some meetup group I found on the internet.

I’m in lots of different things, and have many friend groups now but its very hard to actually find a group that can go out and do things much or get people together. While at university, I was in many groups, clubs, societies – that had things organised to do things. I liked the option to get out and do stuff. This meetup site seemed to offer that. I joined a local group, initially I thought this looks like a USA Site but typed my post code and found something…

They have a monthly meetup in a pub in Thornaby, where new and current members come and chat and meet one another. I was terrified at the idea of going – not knowing anyone, not telling anyone I was going (thinking about it now, that wasn’t so smart) – just going and meeting a group of people in a pub that I’ve only a little chatted online with.

When I got there, my nerves kicked in while in the car outside. I stopped and just thought about it… “Well, it can’t be as bad as turning up to that interview and making everything up on the spot because they didn’t send me all the information I needed” or “It can’t be like that networking thing – that worked out OK” and somehow a calmness came over me. I was still quite nervous, but at the same time I wasn’t and just went in and met with people. They were easy to spot – they had banners on the table with Meetup all over them.

The group was very welcoming, and chatted to me and several other new members to the group. I didn’t feel presured to talk and to start with, chatted to only a few people but felt as though a friendship was instantly created and was really enjoyable.

The meetup started around 7.30pm – I left to go to the Parkmore around 8.30 – I look forward to the next one as think I’d stay much longer. It was a lot of fun and would recommend to others to go too. I would think that it may be better to go with other people but I often find it easier to be myself and judge a group when I’m not with someone else… so I’m not trying to be how people expect – there are no expectations and everything is new. I’ve found that I’ve made loads of friends in many groups this way and intend to keep on going.

So overall, its been a good day but still hungry, I’m not eating more – otherwise I won’t sleep well and I enjoy my dream world way too much to mess that up.

Meetup Group: Teesside

I remembered laid back being carried around and seeing a light switch hanging from the ceiling that I tried to grab.

I ask my parents recently when that was and they told me it was in the first house in Darlington, but I couldn’t remember that as we moved when I was 6 months old.

Other than that, I don’t really know what my first memory was.

Ever since I was on meds for migraines my tummy got a lot of acid, and even after I’ve stopped taking the migraine tablets the acid has stayed even after 6 months and the meds are not really working anymore. I had the choice to leave it, but decided I’d rather know than worry about it… instead I have worry about the idea of it all.

Its coming up 1am the night before the operation and even after reading about it all and knowing that its a simple routine operation I am worried – worried if something goes wrong, or if something bad is found.

I have two thoughts of mind, one part of me knows that everything will be fine and whatever is found will help heal me… and on another is the “What Ifs” the what if anything wrong happens… I’d not really thought about it before Tuesday.

I should sleep, but to get there I’m not sure I’ll be there soon. Good night all, and hopefully I will be able to write more tomorrow night if I’m awake enough.

I didn’t know what to expect but was due to start around 3pm. We finished soon after 5pm, I didn’t expect it to go on that long but got a load of my questions answered that I’d not found through searching websites. Some times its just better to talk to people.

The guy asked me lots of questions and gave me lots of information. Most of which was totally relavent to me. Things I had just missed, I knew, but had somehow missed for the process – thinking it was non relevent and just dismissing it. He guided me through what relevence it had and after seeing a point it really made sense again.

For the first time in about 4 months, I am really positive again about a real future with the business and that it will be successful now. I never really speak of the business here as this is my personal blog but still its part of my life that I tend to share with everyone. I am keeping in contact with business link and can honestly say that I think it was truelly benificial to have gone there.

The Night

Its been a long time since I’ve been out for a night out in the town and it was a good night. Went with a group of friends – there was about 7 of us core in total but people joined and left depending where we were.

I felt really good on the night, I think it had something to do with the meeting in the afternoon – I felt positive before doing anything more – its a feeling I enjoy, yet forget every so often.

We met around my place, and had some drinks before heading out to the local and meeting with the rest of the group. Music, chat and drinks – a nice combination. I tried a variety of drinks, many of which I’d never seen or heard of before that friends had – some very very sweet, much to my liking.

We went to “GLAM” – a remodelling of the stockton night club that changes name every 5 years or so. One friend said it was really good now. I can say that I enjoyed going, the layout had changed a little but was generally the same place with the difference that I could actually get to the bar and somehow people there could hear what I ordered (even if at that point it was just water).

After a while, I met a cousin of mine in there. I wasn’t expecting to see him and neither was he to see me. We stopped and chatted, I lost the rest of my group. They had told me they were thinking to head to the wobbly goblin – a smaller pub/club place but hadn’t said when. I had continued to chat with my cousin keeping them in sight – they lost me.

When I looked around the next time they were all gone, I wandered looking for them but had lost them so I headed outside – it was about 1am so my thought was if I didn’t find them I’d just head home. When outside I got a text message telling me they couldn’t find me and headed over to the wobbly.

So I headed over, paid to get in and got a small collection of game tickets to get free drinks. I think everyone got one, but I seemed to get a few so handed them out and won drinks using the one I got – worked out for whatever I bought, I got double so that cheapened things slightly.

It was a good night, and headed home somewhere after 3am – it was great that we all live so close by as the taxi worked out around £3 for each of us instead of the £10 or so it would normally have cost.

For the Weekend

I’ve not really done a lot over the weekend but have enjoyed it and got a few of my ideas done that I’ve thought about for weeks but not sat down and worked out in practice.

On saturday night, I didn’t realise the time – it was actually nearer 6am sunday that I headed to sleep – I’d watched several movies that I’ve not seen in years on TV including “Dusk til Dawn” which the opening scenes are just great (especially if you’ve the volume loud) and was chatting to friends I’d lost contact with (probably due to time differences)

Sunday – my church isn’t on due to it being the 5th sunday of the month and was meeting for a walk but I didn’t fancy that so the late night wasn’t a worry. I really should have set an alarm though as didn’t awaken until around 3pm when a friend called asking if I was going to IXth hour and wanting some transport if they can.

I was greatful for the call, and will be grateful for the company – 50 minutes in a car with no sounds but the car and me isn’t so great. My radio decided to just stop working about a week ago in the car – no idea whats wrong – it just doesn’t turn on anymore. Maybe a fuse, I’ll check it when I figure out how too. Alternativly, it may be the time to put in my other stereo thats been packaged since my last car but still requires me to pull it out and find the issue.

Anyhow, being woken up was a good thing… looking at the clock and wondering why someone was calling at 3am then remembering you were still awake at that time… oh no, that means its 3pm you should get up.. Its a good thing, otherwise i’d be exhausted tommorrow trying to get up.

Tonight is IXth hour, It will be a change as Y-Friday no longer run the worship – will be nice to see. I’ll be up stewarding – helping out if I can and will talk to people. Loads of friends there so its a good night.

I’ve only posted 3 times this month, hopefully I’ll share more but to be honest, I didn’t have anything much to share or I never thought I did.

Were spending around a week down here in London and so far visted the natural history museum, of which we plan to go back, ate at different places, met with friends and hope to meet with more and later on going out to spend new years eve in London. Its something I always fancied trying and never actually doing it. It will be busy and I hope we get something to eat at some point.

Most of the day has been chilling out, and not really doing anything in particular. I’m feeling the best I have all week. Since boxing day last week I’ve been full of cold and slowly been getting over it. Will be nice to be over it for the new year.

The pace has changed, at home I’ve always something I can be doing – here not so much. Its either travelling to and from places or walking all over the place. Lots to see and enjoy but at the end of it all I do wonder what to do. While I came to London on my own it wasn’t an issue – I would just go online and talk to others as if at home but with others here too its not quite as simple to do so. I also like the ability to get away from everyone else and just be on my own if only for an hour.

Today feels relaxed but lacking at the same time. I feel I should constantly be doing something – to use the time, and not waste it but I don’t have anything I need to get done while I am away so I stop and write and this feels good. I could be doing this at home, but its still something I want to do so it is done now.

What will the new year bring in… Hopefully lots of fun, joy and excitement mixed with friendships and more happyness.

I have a few things I would like to do this next year, and many things that I’ve done this past year. Some of the things I want to acheive:

• Play the guitar
• Trampolining: Sumasaults with no help
• Rock Climbing – more technique
• A new passion in work, or something in life that I don’t want to put down
• New cooking styles (at least for me, other peoples old styles are great – I just can’t do them)
• Dance: become more fluid, confident, and relaxed in dance and expand the styles
• Fitness: Get down to my ideal weight yet increase my fitness level through fun

My past year has been quite a mixed year, I’ve not done all I wanted but have discovered things that have quite litterally changed my life. I’ve struggled with migrane and cluster headaches for many years, and in october discovered the cause of them.

I’ve been ill a lot over the past year (mainly March to November), and much of it was side effects of the medications I was taking to reduce the headaches/migranes – in September while away on holiday, I was ill and not really enjoying the break. So ill that I couldn’t take the tablets as was sick soon after – kinda defeating the point so I stopped taking them and within a couple of days the side effects died down and I enjoyed the last day of my break.

I went through withdrawal from the medication – you are meant to stop taking it over a period of around 6 to 12 weeks, not over night. I also stopped taking anything that I heard could cause headaches such as cheese, caffeine, chocolate & alchol and the next week or two was just evil. So many headaches, feeling nausia, illness and my mood was not so great either (I found out a few weeks later after talking with people at work). I thought I was going through withdrawal for meds, I may aswell go it for everything at once. Not a nice experience but glad its over.

I re-introduced things into my diet but seems caffeine and chocolate are the real killers. I can have a little caffeine like a drink of cola or a cup of caffeinated tea every so often but often get a headache or hanging feeling in my head thats unconfortable for a few days but after about a day… however eat some delicious chocolate and within about 4 hours my eyes are hurting, everything is really loud, nausia and headaches which really sucks because I love the taste of chcolate, especially dairy milk chocolate.

The trade of pain and not being able to do anything for the taste of chocolate. Its amazing to see how many things contain it but the thought to go down to pain for a taste – its just not worth it.

It is the biggest thing I’ve found out this year personally – and since cutting out caffeine and chocolate I’ve been able to do a lot more too. Including regular swimming before work, trampolining and even started the very basics of rock climbing. My co-ordination has amazingingly got quite good and although haven’t danced in a long time feel its something I will get much better at now.

Now that I’m generally off medications, I feel an old side of me has risen to the surface – things I’ve struggled with for years just melting away and returning to a more confident and happy me. While at university, in groups and presentations I was always nervous to talk but one to one, or in small groups I could talk to anyone and I lost that for a long time but its coming back but not just like that – I’m now able to talk in presentations – I still get nervous but have felt while presenting that its a choice to show it or not. I’d never known the choice before – just that I was and felt others could see it. No need now, and knowing that seems to open more posibilities in life even though I don’t know what those could be.

The evil temptation around all the time and then it was just there, another object that was to be seen and not to be eaten. Strange to see others eating it in that aspect but it no longer bothered me. The thought between taking a bite and that brief pleasure followed by the posibility of hours of pain – its just really not worth it.

As shopping, looking for alternatives I came across a shop of different Teas – many cafinnated but also many that were not – some green, many different berry versions – I go for the ones that are loose leaf and not teabags – its strange, after having loose leaf for a while – you can taste the teabags and they don’t help the tastyness.

Torture for the Cafeen Free, Heaven to the chocolate Lover

I came across a shop that usually I would have loved, but was just not right to find when cafeen and chocolate are not allowed. A cruilty to see and everything was on sale. Nightmare for me, heaven for previous me.

I had read that green teas were good for you, and previously never really liked them. Found them too bland but really like Jasmin Tea. I found it one time when in London. It was a cold evening and I was wandering around the city and was in China Town… I went in and got a Jasmin and honey Tea to go – it was really nice and went to get some jasmin tea. Took me a while to find – I could get tea bags but it didn’t taste right until I got the loose leaf… and a dollup of honey. Now I have it without honey in general but delicious both ways.

I am aware that not all green teas are cafeen free, but they are much lower than normal teas so I can enjoy them. It doesn’t seem that I need to be cafeen free to be pain free but take it in moderation. Just like salt and many other ingredients in foods, taken in moderation things just work.

The stewarding teams are a new generation, seperate from what I would call team – the new members that had not been on a team before were very helpful most of the time, it seemed many of those that had done it before seemed to like the perceived power, and tried to use it as much as possable…

Stewarding in general at harvest is about helping keep people safe, ensuring people have a pass to actually get in, making sure exits are safe and clear incase of an incident, help clear a venue if required and helping ensure the place is clean & tidy. The general rules and regulations – there is more to it but its not a “I have the power to kick you off site attitude” as in reality – they do not.

I’ve had my moan about it, watching from the side of the non steward. I can see a lot of changes. Many kids were showing me bands (passes) and i wasn’t wearing a high vis jacket which was funny… and nice to know I’m recognised in some way.

I’ve made some new friends that are completly seperate from stewarding teams and some really awesome talks. Most of today consisted of meetings and talking it was quite awesome really. I’ve spoken for years that I’d like to get involved helping people and chatting but unable to stop as had to get on with a task. Now I’ve had time to do so and really learn more about my attitudes, thoughts and actions and what else I can do. My mind feels opened up.

This is my last full harvest that I’d be on a team and feel its now as an event should be run by the new generations. Maybe things will work out, maybe fall on its face but they need the chance to get further and learn from their mistakes as we did on different occasions over the years.

I will support it still, it helped me for many years. I started in 1994, then 1996 to 1998 as an attendee then moved to stewarding until last year (2009) and ministry team this year. I would like to try raise money for it as it is a recognised charity and as I’ve said above helped myself plus friends over a rough time of growing up.

I look at my Christian life time. Came Christian in 1989 (Journey in Belief), attended church (sunday school, youth church) regularly, went to church weekends away, started harvest 1994, went to uni was part of CU, and CU Committee, got baptised around 2001, got involved with events around country 2000 til now from Message 2000 to Harvest & IXth Hour, and Just 10. So out of the 21+ years of being a Christian, only 5 or 6 of them was without harvest in them so its still quite an impact in my life.

Main start was at 3pm, a nice warm up, nice to see so many, but is odd not being directily involved, glad I’m not on team at the same time of missing them.

The polotics of stewarding, organising and all… its a lot more complicated that it used to be. There is no real need for the extra things but thats not the point it seems. I saw stewarding as Health and Safety & checking the people who’ve paid or not paid with a mixture of crowd control aswell. Maybe its changed, maybe I just see it with different eyes.

Ministry: I’m at harvest as part of the ministry team this year. I find it difficult to pray with people – the words don’t often come before I say them and I prefer to be organised. I wanted prayer myself, but didn’t know the words. My team member asked to pray for me, and somehow knew for what I was needing without me giving any words.

I became aware that everyone young and old and even those in between, were all the same. It didn’t matter anything – we are of limited time in this universe.

My usual team leader is a leader again this year. She seems good at organising, when she is told whats happening or who is off site. Would help if others would do as asked, some do… others seem to forget what they were asked or thats the way it looks.

I went to loaves and fishes, where to sit? All stewards in a meeting – I felt very out of place. Sat with YFC team, I’ve worked with them on a few things, felt very strange. Team meeting ended and I went over and mixed.

Nice night over all, some new friends – several old but can already feel that this will be a last as this part of life is over. I do feel as thou I am re-living a dream and enjoying the nostalgia. A safe place, but its now time to act – step out of the easy safe surroundings and go out and find life.

Not sure I’ll get online, so far no signal Maybe thats a good thing.

Examples are the supermarkets are closed on sundays as are all the shops, I didn’t even realise today was sunday until people told me when I went for the bus. So the things I had planned to get to take back are no longer an option and I hope I can get something on the travels back over the next few days.

I’ve had a good day so far, and its only just after lunch. A niggle of a headache but thats not going to stop me enjoying the day. I’ve sat out with friends around a table with drinks, and biscuits and listened as they play a guitar and sing really nicely… some songs I knew, others not so but still really enjoyed being there out in the glorious sun and enjoying the company.

A lot of this break I’ve been alone, be it wandering in town or around the site, or back at the mobile home writing, reading or listening to things. I was very self concious a lot of the time. I felt the ill feelings coming across me early in the week and didn’t want to pull anyone into it aswell as seeing friends now couples and not wanting to get in the way. After chatting, I’ve discovered I wouldn’t have been in the way but thats how I felt and disliked it so did something else.

My plan now is have some more lunch, and go down to the pool for the afternoon. There is a baptism in the pool this afternoon so will not be in it all afternoon, but a good day out in the pool is the plan and I’m really looking forward to it.

In the pool was a good afternoon time spent. Was in there from about 3pm til 6.45pm – well either there or lazing in the sun of which was nice and warm and welcoming. Drenching each other in the pool. It was fun… at one point around 4ish one person got baptised – I wasn’t expecting it but apparently it was planned. I hadn’t looked at any of todays plans so was none the wiser – just lots of people suddenly arriving at the pool side.

Its been a good day. I’ve felt better today than I have all week and althou its heading back time on Monday (tommorrow) I now feel I’ve had a holiday something I didn’t think I was going to feel yesterday.

So until I update on the travels back, I leave this laptop and internet and enjoy the break. I’ll get to emails and messages probably wednesday where I know I’ve a lot to get through – I’ve enjoyed my break, and will come back sometime but this year has been very different and its been good to see so many friends again but for now, auré-vour and speak soon.