In the morning, I have a mini operation of sorts going on. I’m getting an endoscopy thing – basically its swollowing a camera so the doctors can look inside of you and see if everything is working as it should be.

Ever since I was on meds for migraines my tummy got a lot of acid, and even after I’ve stopped taking the migraine tablets the acid has stayed even after 6 months and the meds are not really working anymore. I had the choice to leave it, but decided I’d rather know than worry about it… instead I have worry about the idea of it all.

Its coming up 1am the night before the operation and even after reading about it all and knowing that its a simple routine operation I am worried – worried if something goes wrong, or if something bad is found.

I have two thoughts of mind, one part of me knows that everything will be fine and whatever is found will help heal me… and on another is the “What Ifs” the what if anything wrong happens… I’d not really thought about it before Tuesday.

I should sleep, but to get there I’m not sure I’ll be there soon. Good night all, and hopefully I will be able to write more tomorrow night if I’m awake enough.