I get headaches, I’ve been to the hospital to see consultant and they’ve started me on some medication that I’ve not taken for the past 7 weeks slowly increasing to a full dose. I’ve to give it 6 weeks to get into my system. I hope it will stop the headaches and especially the migranes.
At the hospital they told me I seem to have a mixture of headaches – Migrane, and a daily style one that happens to co-inside with the migranes – really knocks you out in multiple ways – sight not in focus, pain, dizzyness and dis-orientation, queezy and generally just feeling not right.
Sometimes its like a sudden pulse and hits you strong, and then gone but usually it starts as a kind of nagging pain in the back of the head moving to focus just above eyes increasing in pain to the point where its difficult to do anything. Concentration does not really exist, hard to sleep, read, watch TV/PC – you just can’t do anything.
I have a hat/cap that I put on, its a set of gel pads that are chilled that covers the eyes and seems to hit points on the head that calms the pain down a little… just enough to get to sleep – its also great if wearing contacts too long, as cools the eyes and refreshed them.
Anyhow I hope that it fixes the problem the medications – I;m not meant to drink alchol with them, but according to the NHS website it says not in first 4 weeks as can amplify effects.
First night I took first meds it made me sleepy within 45 minutes and I slept really well, after 3 days it didn’t make me sleepy but the dose went up after 2 weeks to 2.5x the original dose, and full dose was 5 times original. I don’t get sleepy quickly off them but do seem to rest well each night.
A quick change from 2am bed times to 11pm, and now normally between 12:30 and 1am… which seems a good time.
Over the weekend i’ve met up with a friend that I’ve known a while and we decided to go into county durham and meet some of her friends. Went for a meal and to the pub quiz – which we didn’t do too bad in, which was a suprise – think its the first quiz I actually knew several answers to questions instead of one or none.
I met her friends and it was like instant relaxation and getting one with one another – thats not happened in a long time. I’ve not litterally met with people and got on right away with what was no less than hi, my name is… quick intro and head on out. It was really good.
I was glad to see her and meet more people. I often get to meet a lot of people and know a lot of people from all different things. I find it good to know people or at least start to get to know people. Its been good.
I think that I write more when I feel happy. A more eveness in the world. Not that I’ve been feeling down or anything just not especially happy either. Inspiration from happyness. I guess its more that I like to try and make people happier and its easier when your feeling in happy.
I’ve found when I see friends often I am a lot happier. 🙂
On saturday night I went to a trampoline awards night for the club I’m in. Before I went I felt really nervous but couldn’t figure out why – i was shaking or at least felt I was constantly. I got there late, but just in time as my name was announced to come forward for a suprise award – basically as I was a recognised member.
I found my table, and sat with friends and people i knew. This years event was a lot better than last year. Some were drinking a lot, and fairly drunk but still standing. I was not drinking alchol but enjoyed soft drinks and watching and listening to what was happening.
Dinner was different – Half a chicken and squishy chips. The chicken was very tasty but didn’t look like it was going to be. The chips didn’t seem to have any flavour.
There was dancing, but I didn’t feel like joining in. I spoke with lots of friends and worked out who some people were that I’ve spoken with but never known who they were. At the end of the evening – I did get up to dance, it just felt right too – I did notice it was video’d but its all good… however think i was the only real tea-total one at that point on the dance floor.
I do enjoy dancing, its just random movement to music and every so often it looks like you know what your doing. I can disappear into the music so its like your on a river flowing through the notes and following an adventure route knowing roughly where its going and enjoying the ride.
It was a good night. I really enjoyed it.
Last nights dream was interesting, I recall being out with people and seeing a friend thats been ill in hospital. I’ve not heard how they have been doing althou enquire every other day. But it felt like a sign, that they are reaching out and saying its all going to be okay – I know that I pray that they are.
I awoke with words in mind, not just once but twice – in my dream I woke and wrote it down, and then re-awoke realising that I’d not actually wrote it down.. maybe it was to remind me to remember – somethings need to be said multiple times to make you realise.
When we grow up
we are all just still kids
but then in adult suits looking around
We are all multiple – not just one
He is a father, and yet a child
She is a mother, and a nurse
We are all someone, and something else
Maybe it means something, it brought a kind of peace over me and althou looking at it now seems confusing – I know that it made perfect sense.
Recently I’ve felt odd, that there is more that I can do but not feel that I can at the same time. Today has been good. I’ve been feeling a change and more posative. I’ve not written here in quite a while.
It’s not that I don’t have anything to say, more so that I don’t know how to explain everything that I want too and I seem to be most inspired to write while I should be asleep. Often I dream that I have written it down and then find its not there and have to re-remember it again.