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This year 2009, I joined the ministry team at harvest. I’ve done stewarding 8 years before this and at other events and it interested me last year to do it but I didn’t go forward for it – I didn’t feel ready for it.

Well this year, I didn’t really feel ready for it but felt that I should go for it and see how it goes. I’d seen the training for it, as stewards we were put through it for the past year or so just so we knew what was happening.

The Ministry Team meant that I would be praying with people that came forward. Something that scares me really. I have enough trouble praying out loud nevermind with others. I didn’t know what words to use or what to say but hoped and prayed that the words would come.

I couldn’t be involved with a lot of the events that were on for the ministry team as it overlapped with the stewarding a lot but I got the chance to work with someone – to shaddow them basically – watch how they did it but be there at the same time.

First night, I watched – I didn’t get involved but felt pulled to the event. I was outside in the control room for stewards when I felt compelled to go into the main event and be there. I stood at the side and watched and felt a buzz inside and something telling me I had to be there tommorrow.

Tommorrow came, and I was there – It felt like something was building up but I didn’t know what. I enjoyed the main event – the talking and singing. I wasn’t a steward for the event so could be involved totally… At the end I found the guy I was shaddowing and spoke with him.. there was a call and we went forward to help.

They were talking about new people becoming christians. We had to speak to the kids and find out what they understood and then pray with them. I was quiet, and allowed my friend to speak it all with me just nodding and smiling. After they prayer was done – I spoke with them and collected info, gave booklets and things while the other guy went to help someone else.

Soon after I went looking for the guy, I couldn’t see him… but someone asked me to pray with them. I did hesitate, but said I would try to help them. I didn’t do anything fancy, just prayed and words came. It wasn’t long either but the person said Thanks afterwards and went on their way.

I found out afterwards that I got a reference back from my old youth leader and ex steward team leader to say I could do the ministry team. He told me that he believed in me which was quite awsome to hear aswell – I think i needed to hear that from a leader and good friend.

It felt odd, but kinda awesome at the same time. Such a simple task made such an impact in their lives and mine. It has got me thinking there is a lot in the Christian life thats mis-understood and easier if you try… I wonder whats next.

Even if I decide not to steward this next year, I think i’ll put my name down to be on the ministry team.

I have always loved the event: Harvest and been for several years: 1994, 1996, 1998 and then each year after. Its changed a lot over the time i’ve been there. An example is when I started they had a Creche for the kids of the staff but not anymore which is a loss. Quite a few friends can’t help anymore because of this.

For the past 9 years I’ve stewarded at the event named harvest. I’m known on site by many in different teams and seen how the “site kids” have grown from annoying kids to actual useful team members (some of the time).

I used to bring things to attract peoples attention to me: Sweets, glowing things; now I just talk and support others however I can. Before it was about getting known – now i’m known and people just talk – some want, but those are the ones you don’t need around you.. the others that talk and support each other… of which there are many they are are ones you keep for life. Great friends

Over the past few years I’ve seen the teams change quite drastically. I’ve been there the longest now in the team for stewarding and its strange to watch. I see so many new people come in and go, many for one year and never again and some that are here year after year just like me (or catching up slowly)

Last year I was annoyed a lot at harvest, as others that have only been around a bit got selected as team leaders when I was not. They did a great job, better that I think they expected but I felt hurt I was not chosen when I’ve done the job longer than anyone else – and know how everything seems to work.

This year was much the same, still no contact that I could do anything more – I decided to join the ministry team and that was a blessing. I stood down from volunteering to doing things and did if I was asked but didn’t show initiative.

I know my place in stewarding but for how long I will continue I don’t know now. I think its time I stop – I said the same last year and went back again. This year I stood back and watched a lot more, some jumped at the chance to do security – I left them to it althou I know what to do.

There are too many changes happening now and the leadership is totally changed. I want to help the event as I know its helped shape my life but not sure if stewarding is the way to do it anymore. It felt wierd to be there still – I’m glad I chose to do something more than just steward as I would have been lost without it.

What a fun task I had – take down the wardrobe in my room thats been there since I’ve moved in but never quite fitted as intended. My parents have got me a new wardrobe as an early Christmas present – as it was needed and the old one was coming apart kinda badly.

I took down the wardrobe very carefully to start with, and have a huge pile of screws and wood now stored within the garage. I helped when it was put up so remember mainly how to take it back down again. I say mainly anyhow.

I got the tops off, and the two main wardrobes down safely and it came to the centre piece. Something didn’t feel right, but I still continued. Everything was loose but its still wasn’t coming apart until that one screw… then KaBoom – EVERYthing came apart at once…

I should have listened to the feeling. Wish i’d caught that on camera – all you’d have seen was me left catching the electrics out of a falling down wardrobe and then a huge crash. I was pleased i’d disconnected the electrics first otherwise that would have been messy.

So… Wardrobe Destruction… Not as entertaining as Lemonade destruction (See youtube) but a different evening for me.

Now i’ve just to build the new one, but that not right away… well..

OK, its been a while for me to write, and the last month or so has made a lot of difference in me. I feel i’m on a journey – one thats not finishing anytime soon but the scenary is quite awesome showing paths in so many directions… I just need to stop every so often and take a look around to see where these things lead.

So many paths, and which one to take.

I am currently in a cosy place in life – I have 2 jobs that I can do quite well, and earn about enough to just about cover my lifes expenses. I have a home and many friends from all over the country now. I am not truelly happy in life but content in general.

I find it funny, the idea that we all have different passions in life. Work is not one for me. I work so that I can live, not live so that I can work as many people do. I’ve always worked in IT as its something i’ve been able to do but not something i’ve always liked to be doing.

At the moment, I am aware of many paths in life. I can not see them, but aware they are there. Its quite confusing, but faith tells me that it’ll all be OK in the end… It may be bumpy but we’ll get there somehow – probably not the way I expect… but at the moment I don’t expect anything.

I am going to try over the next week or so talk about the last few weeks in my life, and some of the questions I’ve asked and am asking myself. Maybe others have input too – maybe not. But life does look like a curve ball is coming – I wonder if i’ll see it in time.