Fschooliascoff.com

On a totally different note to what I often talk about althou often random and probably nothing anyone wants to read about.

Anyhow… I’ve had a mental block for a project I’ve been working on for myself. I wanted a shopping cart system kind of thing for my website with paypal accepted payments. I’d tried using several open source ones and well.. they say they give you the ability to customise but I could never figure out how to make things work the way I wanted so in the end decided best idea would be to try and make my own.

I’ve read through multiple websites online on how to do them, many of which seem to use each other and a templating engine named smarty – no good for me, but useful for other things.. I could see in my mind how I wanted it to work, but been unable to work out how to draw it or write it down.

That was until today… or yesterday… After looking at the close and seeing it pass 04:19am – its not really yesterday anymore. Anyhow started drawing it down and writing it up – I always forget how long it takes for doing forms in PHP right to blockout stuff like mysql Injection and XSS stuff… a pain but unless I want to loose a site i’ve just taken time to make its worth doing.

So now its started, and will hopefully be at least initially finished by friday. I can see that it could be good… when it works as expected. I’ve tried to set it up so you can have as many categories as you want and as many products as you like in each one but we’ll see what happens.

Laterz….

If I look back in life to when I was little I saw my life in my late 20′s to the age of 30 quite differently. I thought that I would be married, probably with children in my own house working full time supporting family. I thought I could be running my own business with friends and all of us working well together earning enough to enjoy life. I would have travelled all over the world with friends and would never loose those friends from school but just get more and have lots of fun. I would work in IT of some sort but never knew what and would be happy.

A lot is different, for one major thing – there is no wife, and family. I do have the mortgage, and a job (although 2 part time jobs making one full time) and not in my own business althou its still a possability. I still have a few good friends from school time that I see most weeks and many new friends.

I’ve managed to do a lot more in life that I thought I could: Going to uni (never thought i’d get into college nevermind uni) and working, now trampolining and helping as assistant coach, i’ve ran for polotics, helped out in many campaigns, been involved in numerous events in the area and seen so much changes in life and made some awsome friends along the way. There is so much, I can’t explain it all.

Overall I’m quite happy in life, I have many great friends that support me and I can support. I have quite a diverse set of things I do from my work life in IT, and Web Development to the different leisure activities including Salsa Dance, Trampolining, Swimming, Cinema, and random Gardening in my little front garden.

I turn 30, on Friday the 13th February 2009 – No idea whats happening but I hope to go out with friends and have a good time. But I guess we’ll see what happens – all in all, I’m thankful for where I am – and believe its a lot to do with the amazing friends that I have so thanks

Over the past 7 days I’ve had such a mixture of thoughts, feelings, and emotions I am not totally sure exactly how I feel or what I should be feeling.

Last sunday, I passed my assistant coaching exam for trampolining and from being nervous to calm, and completing it all I was full of joy for the next day or so. It felt like nothing could go wrong.

Then the moggy got more ill, and now has gone to moggy heaven. I will truelly miss him, He had been with us for 19 years and a half. Equivillent cat age apparently around 96. So a good age. He had heart problems, and now kidney failure so was put down – he seemed so unwell on tuesday when I went round. I fussed and hugged him for a while before home feeling he wasn’t going to last but didn’t want that to happen either.
I think that on wednesday when I found out, I was kinda expecting the bad news and had started to prepare for it. I still don’t know what to do with that part of life. It doesnt seem real – I go round my parents place where he lived, and look for him or listen and then remember – things just look so big now, places where his stuff was and is no more – so bare. I often think of him from being a little kitty to playing only a few months ago.

All in all, very sad and upset. I talk/write a lot more when I’ve strong feelings as its the only way I really know how to get through them.

Friday was a great night, I made a lot of friends from people i’ve seen for weeks. I went to a salsa social night – at first it looked to be an awful night but got better and better. The weekend so far had been quite relaxing and i’m starting to get things done that I’ve wanted.

The week has definitly been a mixed week, I’ve had a LOT of Great Joy and Great Sadness – now, it just seems normal but with memories and feelings mixing it all up – one sec joy, then sad. How will the rest of the week be… I honestly do not know. I am glad I don’t really know everything already – I think life would be boring and tedious if I didn’t get to learn anything.

Last night was a fun night… A night of dancing fun.. I went to the Arc in stockton, for a night of salsa dancing, to try and relax and learn and have some fun at the same time… I’ve come to love the dancing as i do trampolining.

The night started very slow, 7pm was the initial start and there was only 2 of us… Very nervously I was encouraged to dance, very anxiously I got up and didn’t do much, over time more people came. By 8:30pm there was a nice sized group – not a lot but nice sized. We got on very well…

People we’ve seen for the past 6 to 8 weeks, but never really gotten to know – dancing together, having drinks, talking and relaxing. I’m really glad I went although at around 7:30 that night I was quite unsure. As there was only a few of us, we got personal tuition in the dance – something I’m glad for… Many things I’ve struggled at for the past few weeks clicked and are a lot of fun.

The salsa social ended around 10:30 I think and we continued into town, very windy, quite cold and a little wet but we got to a pub quite quickly. Lotsa drinks and random dancing there too, chilling and chatting – great fun. Drinks didn’t seem to expensive and almost all of us won double drinks by guessing the toss of a coin – maybe why not so expensive.

It was a full moon last night, some say a night of power. I say it was a night of fun, laughter and great time of new friendships. I was unsure if alchol would help me relax.. I thought alchol amplified your feelings which in some senses it does but it also helped relax for me to dance and stop thinking about how to do things and just do it.

I tried meditation to memorise the feeling and memory of how to relax in dance subconciously – i’ve managged to learn things like that before but unsure as if it works – i’ll see tuesday when i’ve had no alchol – see if I can relax and do it so much easier. Should be interesting…. Saturday should be fun – its another social night of salsa and my brothers birthday so will be out til early or even late hours of the morning then.