Fschooliascoff.com

I must look a certain way, I must be fit, I must not be over weight, I need to get fitter, thinner, more flexible, healthier – I must.. I must…

This expectation of the world we live in that if you don’t fit an image, then you don’t fit anything. I know that I struggle with the thoughts that I could get fat and overweight althou according to guides I have a BMI of 22.1 which is almost perfect [22 is ideal] but still it feels wrong.

I try to get fit, I am currently doing trampoling each week – A very fun and energetic workout. I am careful on what I eat that I don’t generally have high fat based foods and generally make meals from fresh ingredients [they taste so much better].

I’ve tried ball room & Jive dancing – both quite energetic which suprised me and a lot of fun. I tried the gym, but didn’t have motivation… I occasionally go swimming but not as often as I’d like. I go on random walks from my house to wherever I end up.

I feel I must try and keep a certain outside view of myself althou in the reality of inner life it doesn’t matter too much. But we all want to be liked and appearance can often help greatly to sway opinion.

I have groups of friends that believe many things I know exist but are not true at the same time, they touch on things that no man or woman was ever meant to use and are in a dangerous place and don’t see it.

I once went into their groups, to try and understand where they were coming from and a whole world was opened up to me which excited and terrified me – especially when I realised what it was. I am no longer in that place and thankful for that.

I talk to people about what I believe is right, and they speak to me… I don’t know if i’m getting anywhere with them but hope they see something in it all.

I mix with friends, we go out, drink, night clubs, pool, cinema, bowling, hang out and talk but beliefs don’t really come into it.

I hide my faith as I don’t want them to dislike me althou I also know that they wouldn’t dis me for it. I’ve spoken to them about it and often when I’ve drank more than usual I can’t help but talk about it – it just fits into conversation.

I also feel that I don’t want to force them into believing althou I really want them too – I know that if they don’t that they will not be with me in the long term and I really don’t want that.

I just as you live in more worlds than just the one. We live different lives depending whom we are with – our actions are different, we are different people but when is it when we are truely honest to ourselves and others around.

I find my place is at a place I help out at called harvest – its a Christian youth camp – I feel totally free there to share who I really try to be in all the things I do. I don’t at all hide my beliefs, I just fit in and can see the world in a totally different view to normal life.

Some of the other worlds…

• My Physical Expected World
• Belief Changed World
• Health, fitness, figure, weight, appearance World
• Money and Work world
• Faith Fueled World

Please click each point for more information on each world I have.